Risky Endeavors
by AllisonMitchel
Summary: ANBU Black Ops' newest member, Sakura Haruno, is dispatched by the Godaime to the Northern Training Facility, where her medical knowledge is required to run the clinic while the medic in charge is sent on a sick leave. Easy, right? Now, if only the relationship with her assigned Captain could be mended as easily as she healed a chest wound.
1. Prologue: Broken Compass

**A/N: Before anyone tries to kill me, let me say something in my defense.**

 **First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I do hope everybody had a wonderful time during the Holidays. Where I live, they're not over until like mid February or something, but yeah...**

 **I have a perfectly good excuse for going missing these past few weeks. Not to sound like Kakashi, but my boyfriend's puppy went missing the week before Christmas. Needless to say, I didn't even touch the laptop during that time. I spent the whole week hiking the wilderness, trespassing private property, handing flyers, managing the social media, and even guarding a perimeter (and getting catcalled more than once while at it, thank you very much). We finally found the puppy a week later, pretty far from where he got lost, slimmer and scared, but in one piece.**

 **The next week I spent doing chores and didn't really have time to write. Finally, some days ago, I decided to get back on track, which was kinda hard. I actually was going to publish a Christmas SasuSaku one-shot that's now half-way done becase of the puppy, but couldn't seem to get back at it the way I wanted to. So, I decided to write something else to get the blood flowing.**

 **I came up with a one-shot that had way too many details in it, and so, I decided that it would look better as a multi-chapter. I mapped everything out, literally. I have a document with all the chapter names and descriptions already.**

 **For the sake of this, I'm going to delete another story I have here, since it kinda fused with this one, and I think it works better this way. The premise is very similar, though.**

 **After writing Captain Hatake's Training Seal, I wanted to do another KakaSaku, because I love that pairing almost as much as I love SasuSaku. Also, I'm over confident and think my OCs are awesome, so I wanted to bring two of the ones I used there back and delve deeper into their stories.**

 **I'm going to shut up now.**

 **Here ya'll go! Hope you enjoy this new story!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto characters. All the OCs are mine.**

 ***Do I really have to keep writing the mature content warning? Haha!**

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 **Risky Endeavors**

 **Prologue: Broken Compass**

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The _pit pat_ sound of the rain drops hitting the glass window filled the room and echoed softly off the walls. The harmonious sound shouldn't have been enough to even stir anyone from sleep, but it woke her up. The pair of emerald green orbs opened groggily, only to close again a second later when the sunlight of early morning filtering through the drapes blinded her vision. They were slow to adjust to the clarity, slower than usual, and this quickly dissipated the remnants of sleep from the kunoichi. Her body sprung to a sitting position on the soft mattress, eyes widening as they took in her surroundings. The action was regretted instantly, as the full force of the headache slammed into her and her vision blurred. A slight panic settled in the pit of her stomach as her mind became painfully aware of other things: the slickness of her skin due to a dried sheen of sweat all over her body, how sensitized her breasts felt when the covers had slid off her due to her lack of clothing, the slight throb between her legs.

Her breath quickened instantly as she understood her situation. _This can't be._ Fear seemed to paralyze her limbs as her eyes darted around, and she felt her stomach drop. Recognition came easily. She'd been here before, although, never this early in the morning, and certainly not naked. If the young woman had had any doubts, the orange book sitting innocently atop the desk in front of the bed was more than enough evidence. It almost physically hurt her to turn her head to the other side of the bed, and she couldn't stop the sob that slipped past her lips.

There _he_ was, sleeping soundly beside her, the covers up to his waist. Her eyes roved the planes of his back, as he was laying on his stomach, lingering on every old scar decorating his flesh. Up they went, to the unruly mop of silver tresses gently splayed on the pillow, and lastly, to his face. His uncovered face, she noted. The girl took him in: his straight nose, high cheekbones, strong and defined jaw, plump lips, and a small beauty mark just under the left side of his mouth.

Morbid fascination almost made her laugh at the irony of it all. Of course, he wouldn't have his mask on after what most likely had transpired on these sheets the night before. The thought made her heart clench, and the desire to cry became almost unbearable, but she held on to the last scrap of her sanity. Reverting to her twelve-year-old crybaby self would do nothing to better her predicament; if anything, it would just worsen it. Taking deep breaths to calm herself, she raked her mind to remember something, _anything_ , that explained how she had ended here, but it wouldn't cooperate.

The only thing she remembered lucidly was the smell of cigarettes and liquor.

.

 _"_ _Earth to Sakura!"_

 _At the mention of her name, the pink-haired medic snapped her head back in her friends' direction. The blush decorating her cheeks due to the sake she had been drinking increased exponentially at the realization that she had been caught dozing off. She heard Ten Ten snicker and saw Hinata cover her mouth to hide her smile. Ino sat right across from her on the table, her blue eyes glinting mischievously as she looked at her best friend._

 _"_ _I'm glad you're back with us." she mocked, and took a sip from her glass._

 _Sakura would've rolled her eyes, but only managed a yawn. "Oh, come on, cut me some slack. I had a ten-hour surgery today." she mumbled while propping her elbow on the table and resting her cheek on her open palm. "I'm tired."_

 _Indeed, she was. There was nothing Sakura Haruno wanted more at the moment than to return to her house and hide under the covers for eight hours straight, maybe more. Of course, seeing as most of the teams dispatched on missions were due to return this week, she doubted she'd ever get that far. Work had been all-consuming this month, the reason why she had accepted to go out with the girls tonight, exhaustion and all. She needed the rest, but she also needed the distraction._

 _'_ _Because today is also the day he…'_

 _Ten Ten's words broke through Sakura's myriad of thoughts. "Hot stud alert!"_

 _The three remaining females turned their heads in the direction Ten Ten was pointing to, or rather, to whom she was pointing to. The group of jonin at the bar consisted of about six people, but Sakura easily made out who her brunette friend was referring to. He was younger than the rest of the men, if only by a couple of years. Dark, almost shoulder-length locks were slicked back on his head, leaving his handsome face exposed for all to see. Currently, he was chatting animatedly with Genma Shiranui, the latter sporting a smirk on his face while the ever-present senbon on his lips moved languidly up and down. Sensing eyes on them, Genma glanced over to their table, the girls quickly averting their gazes elsewhere. Sakura could've sworn she heard him chuckle._

 _"_ _I swear, it should be illegal to look that good." Ino murmured, her eyes flicking to the bar again._

 _Outwardly, Sakura snorted. Inwardly, she couldn't agree more with Ino's observation. The name of the guy was Kotaro Furushima, an ANBU Black Ops member and the newest drool-inducing anatomical masterpiece of the Hidden Leaf Village's male population. Sakura had met him a few months back, when she had been assigned to treat his squad after a mission. Only herself and a handful of medics were deemed trustworthy enough to heal ANBU members, taking into consideration the delicacy of keeping their identities a secret. Even though his injuries had been grave, Kotaro had breezed through her healing with an unwavering sense of humor and more than a few dashing smiles, which had kept her good mood up throughout the entire process. He was a charming guy and a very capable shinobi. Mostly, he was kept away from the village on lengthy missions, but lately they had been seeing more and more of him, a fact more than welcomed by the other females of the Rookie Nine and Team Gai, Ino and Ten Ten specifically._

 _"_ _You're drooling, Ino." Sakura teased from behind her lifted glass._

 _Ino was quick to react. "I am not!" Sakura didn't miss how she brought her thumb up to the side of her lips and brushed the skin delicately. The pink-haired kunoichi snickered._

 _"_ _Regardless, Ino's right." Ten Ten added. "Just look at him. A man who carries himself with such confidence definitely exceeds in the bedroom."_

 _The brunette's words made Hinata blush from her place beside Ino, the blonde taking notice of this._

 _"_ _I think someone just admitted that to be true."_

 _The Hyuuga's eyes widened as she regarded her friend. "Ino!"_

 _"_ _Tell us." Ten Ten started as she leaned over the table to shorten the distance to the dark-haired kunoichi. "Is it good?"_

 _Apparently, the liquor was starting to take effect, and Sakura didn't particularly like the direction their conversation had stirred to, and it had nothing to do with the fact that Ino and Ten Ten seemed intent on scrutinizing Hinata's intimate life. It reminded her of him…_

 _'_ _If only…'_

 _"_ _You guys…" Hinata began, obviously embarrassed to be thrusted under the spotlight._

 _"_ _Can we change the subject?" Sakura interjected. At the confused look Ino threw her way, she quickly added. "I'm not drunk enough to hear the words 'Naruto' and 'sex' in the same sentence. No offense, Hinata."_

 _The Byakugan user gave her a soft smile, not in the least bothered. Ten Ten shrugged and took another swing of her beer, he eyes glancing over to the bar once again. However, Ino's gaze didn't leave the fellow medic. As Sakura looked at her, a silent understanding passed between them._

 _'_ _If only… he'd stayed.'_

 _._

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember how much she'd drank the night before. Glass after glass had come and gone, and her alcohol-laden brain had successfully lost count after the fifth. It had seemed like the most plausible idea yesterday: to drink her problems away. There had been an underlying reason as to why she'd accepted her friends' offer to go out for a drink, and it had nothing to do with the general stress her work in the hospital produced. She hadn't voice it, but they knew. Ino absolutely did.

The man beside her stirred and Sakura almost jumped out of her skin. He turned to lay on his back and threw a muscular arm over his eyes, but didn't wake up. Adrenaline coursed through her veins at rapid speed, the effects of the hangover heightening as she started devising a plan to escape. If she stayed a minute longer, the tears would start falling and she'd surely break down.

As she attempted to move her legs to swing them off the bed, the throb in her womanhood increased and she had to bite her lip to keep from making any sound. Hesitantly, Sakura grabbed the edge of the covers with a trembling hand and lifted it slowly to get a glimpse of what lay underneath.

Blood.

Dried blood.

It stained the inside of her thighs and the rumpled sheets, and she dimly noted it was mixed with a white substance on the apex of her thighs. Her hand darted to her mouth in an attempt to muffle the loud sob as her eyes brimmed with tears.

 _'_ _No.'_

"Sakura?"

The kunoichi had half the mind to cover her nude breasts with her arms before her face turned to regard the man.

 _'_ _Why?'_

 _._

 _The bass of the music echoed off the walls, successfully drowning the conversations around them. At a quarter past midnight, the pub was filled to the brim with people smoking, drinking, and dancing. The mixture of the distinctive smells filled her nostrils and seemed to elevate her even more as she swung her hips from side to side somewhere within the throng of sweaty bodies. She'd lost count of the glasses, and the one on her hand was dangling dangerously, spilling a bit whenever she twirled, although she didn't seem to mind. The faces around her were a blur, and what kept her grounded was Ino's hand grasping her own as they danced._

 _Sakura felt it all slip away: her concerns, her fears, the frustration eating away at her. What was left was a lightness in her brain and her limbs, and a smile on her lips as she lost herself to the hymn of the night. She had tied half of her shoulder-length hair up in a messy top knot, some loose strands sticking to her sweaty forehead and the back of her neck. Tonight, she had discarded her usual clothing, opting instead for tight fitting jeans and a strappy shirt that reached just over her belly button. She felt the fabric sticking to her slick back as she ground her hips. It felt wonderful to be like this, free, unsuspecting of everything for once. With every new beat of the music, the dark memories plaguing her dissipated._

 _'_ _He's not here.'_

 _Twirl._

 _'_ _He's not interested.'_

 _Grind._

 _'_ _He'd rather stay away.'_

 _Twist._

 _'_ _He'll never truly be back.'_

 _The pink-haired kunoichi noticed Ino looking at someone behind her, her blue eyes glinting with mischievousness, albeit looking as dazed as hers surely were. The next thing she knew, her blonde friend took the glass from her hands and slipped away through the crowd. Sakura barely had time to register what had happened when a pair of strong arms wrapped around her and locked just under her breasts._

 _The influence of the liquor in her body rendered her docile. For some unknown reason, turning around and slapping the living daylights of the man who dared approach her in such a way was the farthest thing from her mind. Sighing in contempt, Sakura leaned back against the stranger, her hips rocking onto his slowly as she relished on the contact. It thrilled her, aroused her to be like this with someone. Usually, she was too uptight to be in this position with anyone, but tonight was different. Tonight, she didn't mind._

 _'_ _He's not here.'_

 _The mysterious man suddenly pulled her body flush against his, and Sakura felt a shiver run down her spine. He was taller than her, the muscles she felt underneath his clothing hard and strong, although they didn't feel bulky. She reached behind her to tangle one of her hands on his hair, and she was amused at how soft they felt between her fingers. His face lowered to her neck, his lips a breath away from her skin, but never touching it. In his breath she quickly recognized the scent of a strong alcoholic beverage._

 _'_ _He's as drunk as I am.'_

 _That was the last thought crossing her mind before she lost herself to the music in the stranger's arms._

 _._

All the humiliating moments in the past weren't enough dim the feeling that settled in the pit of her stomach as her jade eyes locked with mismatched onyx and crimson. He was still groggy from sleep, and a possible hangover as strong as hers, but recognition easily dawned on him. Sakura watched the shinobi's eyes widen in disbelief as he looked at her. Sitting upright slowly, he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger and pinched the bridge of his nose. Even in her current predicament, it was somewhat mesmerizing to watch him do this with an uncovered face.

"Sakura, what…?"

He didn't finish the question. His nose scrunched up and his head snapped in the direction of the sheets pooled at her lap. She'd known him for years. Seeing as his ninken were dogs with a very precise sense of smell, Sakura was positive his had developed beyond a normal man's, albeit not as strong as an Inuzuka's.

A shadow washed over his features and his jaw tightened; so did his fists, enough to almost tear the covers apart. Sakura hung her head, unable now to meet his eye.

"Fuck." she heard him curse under his breath.

It was all she needed to start crying.

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 _Her back hit the wall of the room hard, bruising almost, but the only thing she was focused on at the moment was the pair of soft lips slanting roughly over hers. They were as insistent as the hand currently grabbing a fistful of her pink tresses, while the other one slipped under her shirt to cup at her breast over the lacy material of her brassiere. Her hands were also busy, one fisting the hairs of his nape while the other still held the fabric of the mask she'd slid down his face. In a bold move, his hands reached behind her and squeezed her ass, signaling her he needed more contact with her body. Complying, Sakura held onto his shoulders and pushed herself up, her strong thighs wrapping around his narrow hips while he pressed his body to hers, holding her in place against the wall. A lustful moan slipped past her lips as she felt him grind his clothed erection to her core over and over again._

 _"_ _Ahh! God, yes…" she breathed out as his hand slipped inside her shirt again, this time reaching under the undergarment and pinching her nipple softly. His mouth attacked her collarbone now, licking, and kissing, and nipping at the sensitized skin until her pelvis started grinding back, trying to find some release from the pent-up arousal she'd been nursing since the moment they entered his apartment._

 _"_ _Lift your arms." he ordered, and she felt her insides clench at the husky tone of his voice. She did as she was told, and soon enough her torso was bare for his eyes to see. Sakura bit her lip as she watched his mismatched orbs roving over her supple skin, lingering on her hardened nipples before he reached down to kiss her senseless again. He was such a good kisser._

 _"_ _Mmhp! Please, I need you… Ah! Please!" she murmured against his lips in between lip locks, and felt him smirk against her mouth before biting down on her lower lip and giving it a playful tug._

 _"_ _We have all night for that." he said._

 _The kunoichi was having none of that, however. Mustering some of her strength, she pushed him off her. The silver-haired man stumbled a few steps back until he was met with the back of his couch. Before he could protest, she was kneeling before him, her hands working the zipper of his pants. A loud grunt was heard as he threw his head back when her mouth engulfed the tip of his member. One hand propped on the couch to keep his balance, the other one tangling on the back of her head and urging the woman to take him in deeper._

 _It was a blissful experience to have a man bent to her will. She wasn't even ashamed of doing this, and the fact that she'd never done this before was instantly forgotten as she heard the sounds he made. Her body was running of pure primal instinct and alcohol at this point._

 _"_ _Fuck… Ahh… Can you take more of it?" he asked looking down at her, suppressing the urge to thrust his hips into her mouth at the look she gave him. She tried, but the moment his hard flesh hit the back of her throat she gaged and had to pull back. Coughing a few times, she leaned back on her bent knees, spit drizzling down the corners of her mouth._

 _"_ _Sorry." Sakura murmured and gave him a sheepish grin._

 _He chuckled and outstretched a hand to help her up. Once she was upright, he switched their positions, her back now leaning against the couch._

 _"_ _My turn." said the man as he kneeled before her and unbuttoned her jeans, pulling them down along with her underwear in one swift movement._

 _Now it was her turn to throw her head back as his devious tongue lashed out between her legs. It was pure bliss, indeed. Why had she denied herself such a wonderful experience before? Oh, of course._

 _'_ _This isn't him.'_

 _Another lick._

 _'_ _This isn't Sasuke.'_

 _Another suck._

 _'_ _Who fucking cares anymore?'_

 _._

It took several minutes for her tears to stop, even as her chest kept heaving. He kept silent all the while, giving her the time she needed. She figured he must've been as confused as herself about what was going on, even when his reaction was different from hers. She felt embarrassed. He just seemed… angry.

"I'll get you some clothes." he said, his eyes never meeting hers, as he stood up from the bed. Sakura quickly noticed he was naked as well, and averted her eyes. No need for more cruel reality checks.

A change of clothes, consisting of a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of loose fitting shorts, was placed beside her on the bed. She kept her head low as she heard him walk across the room and close the door a little too roughly.

Holding back the tears, Sakura stood up from the bed, her eyes lingering for a second on the bloody mess in the sheets. Grasping the clothes, she headed for the small bathroom, stepping on the clothes she had worn the night before that lay scattered across the floor in the process. She'd have to pick them up eventually, but they had a foul smell to them, and she had no intention of walking out of here with such an obvious evidence clinging to her body. Although, weren't _his_ clothes enough evidence already?

Closing the door behind her, Sakura turned to look at herself in the mirror. The make up from the night before was smeared, especially around her eyes due to the recent tears, and her lipstick was nonexistent. She barely recognized herself, and the urge to cry made itself known again. Walking over to the shower, she turned the temperature to the hottest, almost as if she wanted it to wash away her sins, her skin, everything she had done, away.

Goosebumps crawled up her naked flesh as she sat down on the cold tiles and settled for watching the water fall. Her eyes followed the small current, which quickly turned a rosy color as the blood between her legs was washed away. Sakura brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her hands around them, her head hiding between them.

'Why?'

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 _He kissed her again to muffle the scream when he entered her, Sakura's fingernails raking painful trails down his back to try and ease the pain._

 _._

'It shouldn't have been _you_.'

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 _Glancing down between them, a concerned look washed over his face when he noticed the blood coating his member as he pulled out. His eyes searched hers, a little unfocused by the copious amounts of alcohol he had consumed._

 _"_ _Sakura, you're…"_

 _._

'It was supposed to be Sasuke.'

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 _Her hands tangled on his silver locks and pulled him down for a rough kiss, her tongue delving inside his mouth hotly despite the pain._

 _'_ _Don't stop now… please…" she whispered against his mouth, her eyes opening to meet his with an intensity she'd never directed towards this man before. 'Please.'_

 _Tentatively, he drew back and thrusted forward again, making her clench her teeth. Still no good, still too much pain._

 _._

'Never you.'

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 _The intense pain turned into a slight throb mixed with the most intense pleasure Sakura had ever felt. Her whimpers turned to moans, and soon enough he was pounding into her with abandon._

 _"_ _Sakura." he whispered against her skin._

 _._

'It was never supposed to be you…'

.

 _She came screaming his name._

 _._

'… Kakashi…'

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 **A/N: I've come to peace with myself about the fact that I will never be able to write something short. Haha! I hope the back and forth wasn't too confusing, I wanted to try that out. Soooo, let me know what you guys think! This prologue is like a back story to their dynamic in the story, so do expect things to start slower in the first chapter, which I hope to have finished soon.**

 **Reviews and Favorites and Follows and PMs are always more than welcomed, so is constructive criticism. Thank you for always being so supportive of my writing, it means the world to me, guys! See ya on the next chapter! :)**


	2. Chapter 1: Remnants

**A/N: Hellooo! Sooo, I already stated I cannot write something short to save my life, right? Okay, just making sure.**

 **Enjoy!**

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 **Risky Endeavors**

 **Chapter 1: Remnants**

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 ** _Two years later…_**

The cherry blossom petal glided on the air. Down and down it went, until finally landing on the small pool of blood on the ground, only to slowly submerge into the thick, crimson liquid. Sakura watched this happen from her place laying back against the trunk of the tree as her namesake, huffing to herself at the irony of it. More petals followed as the breeze carried them, the pink-haired kunoichi leaning her head back and relishing on the fresh air that caressed her sweaty face.

When had been the last time she had enjoyed such a simple pleasure? It irked her to not remember. Had her life really turned so busy that she didn't even have time to feel the breeze? Maybe…

"Sakura."

At the call of her name, Sakura glanced sideways at the man. His white mask was already in place and she noticed the slight limp in his steps. At least, he wasn't crawling and screeching in pain anymore. She furrowed her brow. It was never a pleasant feeling to leave a comrade half-healed, but she'd had no choice. Her chakra levels had depleted almost completely during combat, a reckless mistake, perhaps? A voice in the back of her mind whispered it was inevitable, for their enemy had exceeded in numbers and skill, even if just a bit. Still, it unsettled her to see him like this, still bruised and battered and with a bad leg when she should've been more than capable of helping him avoid a visit to the hospital.

"How's your leg?" she asked as she stood up, dusting the dark fabric of her pants. Trying to conserve some of her dignity, Sakura leaned back against the bark almost imperceptibly, if only for him to not see her wobble with exhaustion.

"Better." answered the ANBU, although she noticed he was putting too much pressure on his good leg. At this rate, he wouldn't make it too far before his limbs gave up.

"Let me give it a last look before we head back."

The man didn't move to approach her and she frowned. "You need your strength as well. You're almost out of chakra." His tone was cold, stern, even though she knew he meant well. "Come on, Aya's waiting."

Without another word, the shinobi turned around and limped back through the trees. There lay a small clearing where they had set camp last night, their last stop before returning to the Hidden Leaf Village. It had also been the place where they had been ambushed by the remaining mercenaries hired by their now-decapitated target. They would've moved, but their bodies were in no shape to do so: bloodied, chakra-depleted, and with newly-attached limbs wasn't exactly traveling material. They had decided on a few hours of sleep before heading back, each taking turns guarding the perimeter. Sakura couldn't sleep, even as her body felt more than ready to black out, so she had settled for laying against a cherry blossom tree and just relaxing a little.

Sakura sighed. Many years ago, she would've been much more vocal upon hearing a fellow shinobi decline her offer to heal him. Of course, years ago she'd been in a team with men she trusted with her life. Now, the situation was different.

 _'What a hassle.'_

Reaching down for the white and red mask that had been sitting beside her on the grass, Sakura covered her face and started back, her boot making a squelching sound when it stepped on the puddle of blood, its owner's body laying facedown on the ground beside it.

There had been at least thirty. Her squad had been ambushed while Aya had been making her rounds, leaving her with the worst wounds out of the three of them. The chest wound had been the worst Sakura had seen in a long time, but not as bad as having to re-attach Sato's leg. If it had been someone else with them, Sato's career would've ended that day, or at least would've been sent on a hiatus for a few months until a prothesis was developed in the labs. The feat had been a risky one, but Sakura had managed, at the cost of most of her chakra. She'd returned the favor, as she had been the one to slash the neck of the mercenary who had wounded Sato so gravely. Its cadaver was the one laying near the cherry blossom tree, the one she had been ogling with a macabre fascination for the last hours.

Sometimes, she barely recognized herself anymore, but Sakura guessed that was to be expected.

As she stepped into the camp, Sakura noticed her comrades were already packed and had cleaned house, no trace left behind of their temporary settlement. The rusty scent of blood was stronger here, as most of the mercenaries had been killed on the camp area. The smell made her dizzy for a second, but she caught herself before the other ANBU noticed.

"How are you feeling?" This time, it had been Aya who asked.

"Like I could use a drink." Sakura replied from behind the mask, and heard the other female snicker. Sato was quick to usher them out of the clearing, successfully ending the conversation before it even started.

Sakura didn't particularly disliked Sato, but she'd be more than happy once she crossed the gates of the village and parted ways with him. The man was a menace in the field, not so much when it came to human relationships. Sato had been one of the few ex-ROOT members who had willingly decided to stay active as ANBU after the division was disbanded. She understood where he was coming from. Being an ANBU was all most of those shinobi had known all their lives, and not many were ready to welcome the unfamiliarity of the outside world. The psychological help was a constant in their lives now. Still, it was a long and lengthy process. Sometimes, Sakura would ask the Godaime if it was a good idea to even let them take on the mask and uniform again, for she was sure even one tiny mission under the organization was enough to hinder the healing process completely useless.

 _"They know their limits." Tsunade had said._

Sakura wouldn't precisely agree to that, but it wasn't her business. Even after six months, there were many things she didn't understand about the ANBU, and knew some would remain a mystery forever.

 _'And yet, here I am…'_

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The kunoichi had barely made it a few steps inside her apartment before she collapsed. Standing up would do no good right now, and she settled for kicking the entrance door closed with her foot and relaxed her body. God, she was tired, and hungry. Maybe, if she closed her eyes for just a few minutes, her strength would return.

 _'Just five minutes…'_

Not even one had passed, when the door opened. In a flash, her body was hoisted up and dragged deeper inside the apartment. Her jade eyes were unfocused, and she fleetingly made out the white tiles of the bathroom before she found herself sitting against the wall of her shower. Squinting to have a better look of the man who had carried her, she distinguished a shade of orange and yellow.

"N-Naruto?"

The Jinchuuriki sighed and turned from his place rummaging the closet for some fresh towels and regarded her with concern washing over his cerulean orbs. Kneeling before her, he started to unfasten the arm guards, the metal clanking loudly when it met the bathroom tiles. After the armguards, he took off her boots, frowning at how swollen her feet were.

"It was a long walk back." she commented absentmindedly as she reached for the mask and took it off. Bad idea. Now he actually had a face to glare at. The foul look lasted a second before he stood up and walked out of the room. Sakura heard his footsteps heading for her kitchen, and dimly smiled.

She couldn't remember when the roles had been reversed between them, but the ordeal had most likely begun six months ago. It wasn't a regular occurrence, but Sakura was positive Naruto could smell a mission gone awry a mile away, for he always seemed to be nearby whenever she couldn't even stand up by herself. She'd chase him away if she wasn't so exhausted every time he came. She was a big girl, she could take care of herself, and he had Hinata to look after, but he always found time to see to his former teammate's well-being. It was a touching gesture.

Groggily, Sakura removed her clothes, being careful not to open the wounds she had managed to stitch back together without Aya and Sato noticing. Aya would've worried that their only medic could be rendered useless if a second ambush were to happen, and Sato would fume at her carelessness for not conserving her chakra during the fight. Sakura had no need for such chastising, especially not when it came from people who barely knew her.

The medic hissed when her fingernails brushed a wound on her rib area while she lifted the mesh undershirt over her head and tossed is carelessly on the floor along with the rest of her bloody garments. Using the walls to steady herself, Sakura walked over to the mirror over the sink and lifted her right arm to get a better look. The skin had reddened, and pus was seeping out in small quantities. An infection, a rather nasty-looking one. She'd have to take care of that before lunch unless she wanted to be bedridden for a week.

The hot water relaxed her muscles and brought some color back to her ghostly pale skin. It felt amazing to be able to wash the blood and dirt in her own shower. If there was something she always missed during missions, it was bathing in her own place. There was something truly magical about having all your worries and all the sweat washed away at the same time in the privacy of your home. Only when she began lathering lavender-scented shampoo did she allow her thoughts to drift back to that fateful day six months ago.

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 _"ANBU?!"_

 _Flabbergast was an understatement as to how Sakura felt at that moment standing in front of the Fifth Hokage, and her former mentor, Tsunade Senju. The older woman's hazel eyes regarded her calmly as she waited for her words to sink in on the younger medic._

 _Sakura realized her mouth was resembling that of a gaping fish, and quickly closed it, her jaw clenching in the process. Tsunade had called her in for a private meeting today. At first, she'd thought it had something to do with her work at the hospital, or the Children's Therapy Center. Never in a million years she would've imagined this scenario._

 _"You want me… to join the ANBU Black Ops?" Sakura asked tentatively, as if making sure she had heard right._

 _"That is correct." Tsunade answered._

 _The words felt heavy even as she spoke them. Sakura searched the Godaime's face for any trace pointing this to be a very mean joke, but found none. 'She's actually serious.' She had to say something, anything, but the right words seemed to slip through her fingers. She settled for the simplest, most obvious vocal reaction to the endeavor._

 _"Why?"_

 _Tsunade sighed and leaned back on her chair. Sakura noted the Hokage looked tired, with dark circles surrounding her eyes and exhaustion written all over her face. The war had taken its toll on everyone, but its remnants felt especially savage on the Slug Princess, considering everything that had happened. Sakura knew it was only a matter of time before she retired and someone else took her place. It was anyone's guess, for she was sure Naruto was still too green behind the ears. His face would be the seventh to be carved on the mountain monument, not the sixth._

 _The Hokage seemed to ponder on the words to use for a moment, which made Sakura nervous. Had this even been a conscious decision? Seeing as there weren't any sake bottles laying around, and there was a distinctive sharpness to the old woman's eyes, Sakura guessed it was._

 _"It's a matter of necessity, Sakura." she said as she stood up and walked over to the glass window overlooking the village. Not waiting for an invitation, Sakura joined her._

 _The Hidden Leaf Village had changed. The reconstruction had brought with it a myriad of new technologies and developments, and a veil of peace had settled upon the place, as it had in the other Hidden Villages. When was the last time Sakura had witnesses so many genuinely happy smiles on the villagers without the shadow of death lingering close by? They still had their setbacks, but all it all, peace had truly been achieved for the time being._

 _That was precisely what unnerved her so much at Tsunade's decision to enlist her in the ANBU._

 _"Kaguya Otsutsuki and Madara Uchiha may have been defeated, but that doesn't mean we don't have threats to our world lurking from the shadows, waiting for the right time to strike." Hazel eyes followed a group of young children, most likely Academy students, chatting happily down the road. "The war took a toll on our numbers, as you know."_

 _Sakura nodded, her mood suddenly turning somber at the memory. There had been so many casualties, so much bloodshed of friends and foes alike, it didn't feel like much of an actual event, but a cringeworthy nightmare. The numbers of injured shinobi who made it to the hospital were absurd, and she could only imagine the count of the ones who didn't. So many lives wiped out, so many children left orphaned and families destroyed._

 _"Yeah, I know." Sakura whispered, her eyes flickering in the direction of the memorial for a second as a tight knot formed in her throat. She quickly recovered, but doubted Tsunade hadn't noticed her slip._

 _"Sakura."_

 _The medic turned to her former mentor, who was looking at her with a fierce intensity in her eyes. "I need you as part of the ANBU Black Ops as an outstanding medic, and as my most trusted kunoichi."_

 _Sakura's eyes widened. The Godaime had never been one to give compliments easily, and when she did they were heartfelt. A sense of pride washed over her, successfully dulling the earlier painful memories. Straightening her back a little more, she met the Hokage's eyes head on._

 _"I won't let you down, Lady Tsunade."_

 _._

Being careful not to hurt herself, Sakura cleansed her wounds, grimacing at the stinging of the soap against her tender skin. Feeling some of her chakra returning slowly, the kunoichi stepped out of the shower for a second and rummaged the small cabinet for a pair of surgical scissors to cut the stitches and heal the remaining wounds properly. A few tears slid down her cheeks and her breath quickened as she worked on the infected wound, quickly covering it with her green-glowing hand and pulling her body out of its misery. It wasn't the worst she'd suffered during her time in the ANBU, but it was an annoying one, indeed.

Once she was properly healed, Sakura walked over to her room for some clothes. She could smell something delicious from the kitchen, and her stomach growled. At least, during times like these Naruto had the sense of cooking something other than ramen, for which she had Hinata and her cooking skills to thank for. Even if it was something simple, anything would've been better than a cup of noodles.

The medic opted for a pair of loose pants and a t-shirt. Standing in front of the mirror, she saw herself for the first time after the two-weeks she'd been out on the mission with Aya and Sato. The first thing she noticed was that she looked slimmer by the way her collarbone protruded against her ivory skin. That was to be expected, seeing as they had mostly been living out of rations. What took her aback was the hardness she found in her viridian eyes. They were no longer the eyes of an innocent little girl, neither did they belong to a normal twenty-year-old. No, they were the eyes of someone who had lived too much, too fast. The eyes of a woman who had saved lives almost to the same degree to which she had taken them. Hardened. Cold.

 _'Tired.'_

Turning away from the mirror, Sakura made her way to the hallway, making a mental note of doing some cleaning after she had her nap. Dust was starting to accumulate on the surfaces, like her dresser. Using her index finger, Sakura swiped it over the piece of furniture, making a face when she noticed the tip came out a light shade of grey. Her eyes roved the dresser, and she felt her body still when she caught a glimpse of an old photograph atop it. Her calloused fingers reached out to caress the frame gingerly, her eyes settling on the people inside the frame. There she was, eight years younger giving the camera a huge, happy grin. Beside her were the men she had grown to love more than anything during her career as a kunoichi of the Leaf. Her eyes drifted to Naruto mainly, and she felt her heart swell with pride for her friend. He'd come such a long way from their genin days, some people would say he was unrecognizable. Sakura knew this was not true, but then again, not many people knew him like the rest of Team Seven did.

 _'Team Seven, huh?'_

When her heart began to clench, Sakura slammed the picture frame face-first against the surface of the dresser and walked out. Some days, she'd stare at it for hours. Others, like today, she couldn't stand the sight of it. Reminiscing on the past wasn't what she wanted right now. She just needed a big plate of whatever her friend was cooking and a long nap.

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"Glad to see you're looking like a human being again."

Sakura settled for rolling her eyes and giving the man a slight jab at his side with the heel of her foot. After eating the stew Naruto had prepared, of which they'd both had seconds, the pair settled on her couch. Sakura had brought a pillow from her room and was laying down on the sofa with her feet atop Naruto's lap. The Jinchuuriki was currently giving her one of the most amazing foot massages she'd ever received in her life, and it was all she could do not to fall asleep as his hands worked wonders on her.

"I can still kick you through the wall, you know?" she warned with a yawn as she stretched and arched her back, like a cat.

Naruto smiled at her. "If you do that, I won't be able to continue."

The pinkette sighed and looked at the ceiling. "True."

A comfortable silence settled between them, but Sakura knew it wouldn't last long. Naruto was as prone to talking as she was to her ill temper.

"How'd the mission go?"

"We managed." she answered, careful not to slip out many details as they were classified. Naruto understood this, and didn't pry much on it.

She could see, however, the shadow that fell on his features as they delved into the topic. Only a handful of people knew about her recruitment for the ANBU, and most of them weren't too happy about it. Naruto was one of those people. She knew he knew why Tsunade had done it, and understood the importance of having someone like her in the ranks. Still, Sakura knew it hurt him. With every mission she completed, she felt a shard of her former self splintering away. She still worked at the hospital, and sparred with her friends and went out for drinks, but the medic knew they noticed the change. The change was inevitable, but it still hurt them to see it happen before their eyes and not be able to do anything about it.

There had been another person who had been extremely helpful during this process, and that was Sai. Even with his emotionally constipated demeanor, he'd lend a supporting hand whenever she needed it, for he knew better than anyone the toll being in the ANBU took on her. Right now, he was away on a mission, but she was sure he would've been here with Naruto if that wasn't the case.

And then, there was _him_ to complete the trinity of her small support system…

 _'…only, I haven't seen him in two years, so that's not exactly helpful, is it?'_

He was supposed to be. He should've been...

"All done." Naruto announced. Sakura glanced down at her feet, noticing the swelling was slowly subsiding. She wriggled her toes tentatively, only a slight sting welcoming her movements.

"Thanks." she said with a genuine smile.

Naruto stood up, to which Sakura bent her knees to take her legs out of the way, only to settle them back on the couch once he was off it. "What are you gonna do now?" he asked.

Sakura appeared thoughtful for a second, her eyelids feeling heavy at last. "I'll just rest a bit before I go see Lady Tsunade."

"And tonight?"

There it was, that sheepish grin that was so unique and so familiar.

"You know, I might die if I get even one drop of alcohol in my system at this point." Sakura retorted, but his giddiness didn't waver one bit.

"Then don't. We're gonna have dinner first, so you can just tag along for that."

By _we_ he meant the Rookie Nine, or at least those who weren't away on missions at the moment. It was a sort of tradition created after the war. At least once a month, they'd go out together, merely a few drinks between friends, but there was an underlying sentiment to it. It was a celebration of life, of the fact that they were still here and in one piece, sort of. Sakura could've declined any other offer today, but not this one.

"Okay, I'll be there." she said, her voice heavy with sleep.

Naruto gave her a soft smile as he watched her drift to unconsciousness. He made sure to drape the curtains closed and turn off the lights on his way out.

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The sun was starting to set on the horizon, and Sakura easily caught the distant smell of rain. The weather had been rather unpleasant on the Fire Country the last few days, and it exasperated her to no end. She was okay with a little rain to freshen the air. The downpour that seemed to repeat itself over the course of the last week, however, was another story. She sighed and glanced at the sky and its pretty orange and pink hues.

Sakura had been on her way to the Hokage Tower for a meeting about her last mission. Seeing as she had woken up from her nap a little over an hour before the established time for the meeting, the medic decided to take a stroll around the village. She'd found herself enjoying walks like these more and more over the past months. It helped her clear her mind and relax, two things that had become a necessity for her.

From the moment she accepted her enlistment in the ANBU, Sakura knew life as she knew it would change forever. The only thing she didn't know was to what extent it would change. The young medic had been thrusted into a world of shadows and deceit even more sinister than the ninja world she knew. There existed a sense of camaraderie between its members, but it was a far cry from the dynamics she had grown accustomed to with the Rookie Nine. There were many shades to the spectrum, and she'd seen all of them. From somewhat caring hearts, like Aya, to those who weighted your worth based on the skills you brought to the table, like Sato. They were all exceptional shinobi, but the warmth she was used to seeing in her friends was seldom there, or hidden for the sake of the mission. Sakura had yet to find someone in there to call a friend, mainly because she would always be paired with different people depending on the mission, rendering any attempts of building bonds useless. The people she did know to an extent hadn't been assigned to her squads yet, like Kotaro. That would've been a breath of fresh air.

If only she were assigned with him. If only she could see a familiar face leaving the village alongside her for the next mission. Perhaps then, she would stop feeling like this, so guarded and on edge all the time.

 _'Lonely is the word, Sakura. Lonely.'_

Her train of thought stopped when she noticed exactly where her feet had taken her. Sakura felt a knot form in her stomach at the sight. She seldom cried nowadays, but there were times in which it was almost inevitable. There were some people and some places that could still reduce her to tears.

The cemetery was one of them.

Her steps were slower now, hesitant, as she made her way between the tombstones, her body moving on its own accord along a familiar path. Reaching her destination, she stopped in front of the twin graves. Taking a shaky breath, Sakura allowed herself to shed one tear before settling down in front of the tombstones with her knees to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She rested her right cheek on her forearm, viridian orbs reading the names engraved again and again.

 _Mebuki Haruno_

 _Kizashi Haruno_

"Hi, Mom… Hi, Dad…"

The words felt foreign in her tongue, and painful. It had been two years since they had passed away. Two years filled with tears, confusion, and resentment. The mission had been a mere week-long C-Rank, assigned on a normal day just like this one. The day of their return she'd decided to visit their home. She'd been all kinds of busy lately, with the hospital and the Children's Therapy Center, and the medic had missed her parents like crazy. Sakura still remembered it like it was yesterday: how she had let herself in and prepared a simple dinner for them, how she had settled on the couch wearing one of her father's sleeping shirts and her mother's favorite slippers, how she had waited. One hour turned to three, and five, and then the ANBU operative had knocked on the door at the break of dawn. Her mother was already dead when they brought her in, her father's demise fast approaching as well. She remembered how she'd rushed to the hospital, how everything around her had been a blur until she intercepted her father as he was being taken to the ER, how she'd felt the life draining away from him even before she'd seen his face… and then he'd held her hand weakly and told her he loved her before he was moved inside the operating room… and never came out.

"I finished another mission today. Had to reattach a leg to my asshole comrade and almost got myself unconscious for it. What a hassle, huh?" she murmured to the wind, her eyes no longer on her parents' graves, but roaming around the perimeter. There were so many. "It's… harder than I thought, this ANBU thing. You guys would probably hate it, especially you, Dad." She smiled to herself. "No more innocent little Sakura for you."

"But she's grown quite well, indeed."

Sakura felt her heart skip a beat at the voice and her head snapped to the side. There, casually standing beside her, was the Fifth Hokage. The woman wasn't looking at her, but at the tombstones she had been sitting in front of. Sakura felt her face redden at being caught in such a vulnerable position, and by her former mentor, no less.

"Well, this is embarrassing." she commented with a nervous laugh.

Tsunade glanced at her from the corner of her eye and gave her a small smile. She turned around, her feet taking her deeper into the cemetery. "Walk with me, Sakura." she called behind her.

With a last look at the graves, Sakura followed the woman until she was in step with her. They walked for a few minutes in a comfortable silence. The pinkette noticed the appearance of the graves began to change. The ones around them didn't look as recent anymore, some of them covered with vines and moss. The Godaime came to a sudden stop before a tombstone.

"Dan Kato…" Sakura read aloud, and her eyes widened as realization hit her. She quickly glanced at Tsunade, finding the woman looking at the grave with a softness she had never seen before in her hazel eyes.

"I come here as well, sometimes." she admitted and looked around the large expanse of land. "It's hard some days, because I know no matter what we do, there will always be a new grave to dig, a new tombstone to carve." Tsunade kneeled and placed a hand softly atop the stone. "It may feel very painful at first, to come here, but the pain will subside with time."

Hearing a sob, Tsunade turned to her former pupil. Sakura quickly wiped the tears from her eyes in an attempt to hide her crying, but it was useless.

"I wish it didn't take so long." she said. "I'd do anything to just wake up one day and not feel so… so helpless."

Tsunade sighed and stood upright. "The feeling will never truly go away, Sakura, but you can live with it if you remember this: the true value of the life of a shinobi is not in the physical body, but in the place they occupy in your heart…" She poked the young medic's chest. "… in their imprint on your memories…" Another poke, this time on the rhombus-shaped seal on her forehead. "… and in the legacy they leave for the next generations, be it a precedent to save more lives, or another kunoichi."

To those last words, Tsunade gave Sakura's small nose a flick with her index finger, to which the kunoichi laughed wholeheartedly. Glancing at Dan's grave, she wondered how long it took Tsunade to find peace about his death. It was hard to cope, so hard, but Tsunade's wise words echoed in her. The Hokage was right. There were still so many things to live for, so many people who still needed her, and she couldn't keep them out forever because of her parents' demise. Perhaps, now she could finally start on the road to find that peace herself.

 _'Perhaps…'_

 _._

 _._

 _._

"I was meaning to talk with you before the meeting."

Sakura gave a confused glance in the Hokage's direction. They were currently in the office, with a thirty-minute window before the meeting started. Aya and Sato hadn't arrived yet, but Tsunade had insisted for Sakura to stay. The medic wondered what could be so important that it couldn't wait until after the meeting.

"What about?" she asked.

The blonde stayed silent for a minute, her hazel eyes scrutinizing the pinkette. Sakura felt a wave of _deja-vu_ wash over her.

 _'Hasn't this happened before?'_

There was no pause, so sugar-coating to her next words. Back to her normal, blunt self, the Godaime voiced it out loud and clear.

"I'm deploying you to the Northern Training Facility."

Sakura wasn't as quick to show surprise for unexpected news as she'd once been, and her face remained calmed, although her eyes widened a bit. Inside, she had dropped her jaw to the floor and was pulling exasperatedly at her medium-length pink locks.

 _'The Northern Training Facility.'_

In the six months she'd been in the ANBU, she hadn't had the pleasure of visiting the place, but she'd heard of it. There were four Facilities in total, each one located on a cardinal point someplace hidden within the border of the Fire Country. They were exactly what their names entailed: training camps built especially for ANBU operatives, to sharpen certain skills in a controlled environment and away from the prying eyes of civilians and other shinobi. They also served as housing quarters for members dispatched on various missions around the same area, for it was more efficient to have them nearby instead of having them return to the Leaf Village only to send them out again on a short notice.

Sakura knew there were many operatives in each Facility already, and she had to wonder what her purpose there would be, seeing as she'd already completed the necessary training three months ago. Was there more training she hadn't been aware of? Would she be sent on consecutive, lengthy missions on the outskirts?

"This is… unexpected." Sakura admitted, her eyes trained in Tsunade's.

"I'd be worried if it wasn't." the woman answered with a smirk. "The medic in charge of the clinic has fallen ill, and I need someone capable to run it until his health recovers. The elders placed their candidates on the table, of course…" she trailed off.

Sakura huffed. "And you were having none of that, of course."

Watching the Godaime slyly pull a bottle of sake from her drawer and pour herself a glass, Sakura dimly wondered if it would be inappropriate for her to ask for one as well.

Tsunade finished the glass in one gulp. "I don't expect it to take long for him to recover, a few months at most." She started pouring herself another. "I want that clinic running like clockwork, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Also, you may have to be sent on missions while you're there. The Facilities work with assembled teams for their mission rooster, so you won't be thrown around as much as you were here." The glint in her eye told Sakura she didn't regret her actions at all. "You'll meet your new team there."

For some reason, this scared and excited Sakura at the same time. The word _team_ brought a warmth to her heart, but also a slight dread for the unknown. She'd felt the same way before she was placed in Team Seven. Fortunately, even with idiotic tendencies, all-consuming hatred, laziness to a fault, and social awkwardness, her teammates hadn't turned out so bad. This time around, however, the story could very well be the complete opposite. She had no idea what she'd do if Tsunade assigned her with three Satos. Sakura would lose her mind.

This involuntarily pulled her train of thought sideways, to ask a question she otherwise wouldn't.

"At the Facility… is there anybody I know?"

The words slipped out her lips without her consent. Kotaro's face materialized in her mind, a feeling of hopefulness mingling with her earlier dread. Sakura hadn't seen him around in months, so there might be a twenty-five percent chance that he would be in the Northern Training Facility. She refused to let her mind wander to the _other_ familiar face she might also encounter.

But the starts weren't aligned in her favor tonight.

"Kakashi Hatake."

Sakura felt her stomach drop and her fingers itch to reach for the sake bottle in the desk. Then, they ran cold, as the memories flooded her brain, and suddenly the taste of sake became the most disgusting thing in the world. Adrenaline pumped through her body, its natural reaction to tell her it wanted to _run the fuck away_ from there.

Tsunade noticed her reaction and quirked a brow. "Are you okay, Sakura?"

"Y-yes."

 _'The fuck I am!'_

"Well, then…" Tsunade continued, disregarding the trembling she felt in the kunoichi's aura for the time being, seeing as the meeting was about to start. "You are to leave next week. Any questions?"

"No, Lady Tsunade."

 _'Why is this happening to me?!'_

"Okay, then." Tsunade glance at the clock on the wall. "You have ten minutes before we start. Go get a juice or something, Sakura. You look pale as a ghost. Did you have lunch?"

The medic nodded absentmindedly and turned around. Only once she was outside the room and leaning against the door, did she allow herself to curse.

"Shit…"

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 **A/N: There we go, one long-ass chapter done! Hahah! Thank you for all the support always, you guys are the best. I hope you like this chapter as much as you liked the Prologue. See ya on the next one! Happy weekend!**


	3. Chapter 2: Growing Pains

**A/N: Hiii! I am so super late with this chapter. I originally didn't have it planned in my outline, but last chapter seemed to flow seamlessly into this one, and so I had a bit of a hard time writing it. Alas, here it is! Chapter 2!**

 **Enjoy!**

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 **Risky Endeavors**

 **Chapter 2: Growing Pains**

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The night breeze felt chilly against the naked skin of her arms. The pink-haired medic was currently perched on the edge of the rooftop belonging to her apartment complex. Her hair swayed with the wind, while her eyes were lost on the village below in a contemplative matter. The night was as lively as ever, with the streets lit up and people wandering here and there, their features unrecognizable from her position. She watched absentmindedly as they went on with their business for the evening: academy students walking in little groups as they marched to their homes, young men and women stumbling out of bars a little too early into the night, the occasional elderly couple holding hands. She watched with mild interest, willing herself to relax the conundrum of thoughts assaulting her mind with the domestic scenery before her.

An hour into her sightseeing, her mind had yet to shut up.

Sakura sighed and laid back on the roof, her limbs splayed as she watched the night sky. The moon hovered beautifully above the village, almost full, and the dark sky was dusted with countless stars. She settled for counting them to take her mind off things, but it was useless. The more she tried to avoid her thoughts, the stronger they charged at her until they overwhelmed her completely. Her jaw tightened, and her eyes narrowed, the full extent of the unpleasantness of the ordeal finally taking over.

 _'_ _Kakashi Hatake.'_

She'd be lying if she said the name hadn't crossed her mind once Tsunade had told her she'd be deployed to the Northern Training Facility. The whole two seconds of wishing she wouldn't meet her former sensei there hadn't been enough, it appeared. The odds were rather slim, for he could've been in any of the four Facilities, or even in none of them, but fate had its way with sole female of Team Seven. An invisible weight pushed at her chest, her breathing becoming shallow as memories assaulted her. She wasn't a stranger to the feeling, but it was never welcomed, even more so on nights like this one, when she was supposed to be getting ready to head out with the Rookie Nine for their monthly rendezvous.

Unwillingly, the pinkette let her mind wander to that dreadful morning two years ago, something she'd forbid herself to do for a long time. It was inevitable now, however, as the sole mention of his name by the Godaime had brought her tumbling down into that dirty secret she kept buried in the depths of her subconscious. She didn't cry, she hadn't cried over this for more than a year, and she refused to start again now, but she couldn't not acknowledge the way her heart tightened as the images danced before her now closed eyes.

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 _The hot water felt scalding on her delicate skin, but she didn't care, not even as she could see the flesh turning red underneath the burning onslaught of the showerhead. For long minutes, she just stood there not moving an inch, willing herself to sustain this self-inflicted torture. She needed it, craved it, wanted to feel something aside from the never-ending sense of humiliation that kept silently assaulting her mind._

 _'_ _I really messed up this time.'_

 _What had she been thinking? How many times had she chastised Tsunade for drinking herself stupid whenever an issue turned out to be particularly difficult? She felt like such a hypocrite._

 _'_ _Goddammit!'_

 _At least she had half the mind not to enhance her fist with chakra, for the punch she inflicted on the tiled shower wall would've otherwise broken through to the adjacent room. The force behind it was enough to wound her knuckles, however, and she watched with a macabre fascination as thin trails of blood slid down the wall and were washed away through the drain at her feet. The pain in her hand, mixed with the boiling water, did more sobering to her mind than any aspirin ever could, and slowly, flashes of what had transpired between her and Kakashi last night danced before her eyes._

 _With every new memory plaguing her consciousness, Sakura felt waves of shame washing over her. The images were crystal clear now that her brain wasn't mushy anymore. How he'd approached her on the dancefloor, their bodies shamelessly grinding against each other without consideration of who could've been watching them. Even if everybody around them had been too drunk to notice, even if they themselves had been too drunk to care, the facts between the pair were undeniable. He'd been her sensei, she his student. He was fourteen years her senior, and she should've scurried away the moment she turned around and saw it was him who had been grinding so intimately against her while they danced._

 _But she hadn't even tried to escape his grasp. With the sake coursing wildly through her veins, the whole ordeal had felt too exciting, too arousing to even consider backing away from him. Having a man in such a compromising position with her had reduced her to the most basic state of her being, her body almost begging for more contact, for pleasure. And so, she had stayed, and she had danced the night away with him. Not once did she stopped herself to consider how inappropriate what they were doing was, not even when his hand sneaked inside her shirt to caress the skin over her ribs, or when he slipped his thigh in between hers, something hard and hot pressing insistently against the front of her jeans. The only thing she'd focused on was making the pain go away, and with every new twist of his hips, the noise in her mind had been getting further and further away until she could no longer hear it, could no longer feel the pain and the regret and the sadness._

 _And then she'd leaned to whisper in his ear, her words slurring together. "I wanna get outta here, sensei."_

 _Maybe, she hadn't meant it. Maybe, she'd expected him to push her away and tell her she was drunk and that she should have Ino walk her home. None of that had happened, for the next thing he'd done was interlace their fingers and guide her away into the night. And not once did she try to stop him._

 _The rest of her memories were a blur of sounds and sensations that had been foreign to her body until last night. It's not as if she'd never considered having sex at her age. The kunoichi had had more than enough opportunities to do so, and she'd lie if she ever said she hadn't been curious about it. But up until now she had never gone against her heart's wishes about her first time being a magical moment she'd spend with none other than Sasuke Uchiha. Even when he departed in his journey of atonement, she'd held on to it. Even though he'd never contacted her in the last year, she'd held on to it. Ino had called her foolish more than once, but she hadn't cared. It was what she wanted._

 _Or so she'd thought._

 _A knock on the bathroom door pulled her away from her thoughts. She'd been dreading this with all her being. From the moment he'd slammed the door on his way out of the room, Sakura had been painfully aware of his presence in the apartment, from his scent impregnated on the clothes she'd borrowed to the way his chakra seemed to flare from time to time as he paced endlessly through the hallway, the living room, the kitchen, everywhere. This was his territory she was in, and the mere though of it made her feel slightly asphyxiated. The shame, the regret, the self-loathing, it all came stampeding over her with that simple knock on the door._

 _"_ _Sakura?"_

 _The young woman took a deep breath before answering, if only so her voice wouldn't tremble. "I'll be out in a minute."_

 _Turning off the shower, Sakura stepped out and took her time drying herself up and putting on the borrowed shirt and pants. Truth be told, she was afraid of facing him. The initial stupor after they had woken up had already dissipated. The only thing left was to assume the consequences of their actions, and Sakura didn't think she was ready for that. She still felt too shaken about what had transpired between them, and she knew Kakashi. He wouldn't sugarcoat things, that wasn't his style. Once they started talking, he wouldn't beat around the bush, not with the foul mood she'd seen in him when he became aware that he had taken her viginity. It would be the most awkward and painful conversation she would ever have with him, and she was afraid. She was a newly deflowered eighteen-year-old, he was an experienced thirty-two-year-old, and this fact alone made her cringe and almost froze her body in place as she extended her hand to turn the doorknob. She was afraid of what he was going to say, she was afraid of what he thought of her now, and more than anything, she was afraid of the shift she'd felt between them the moment she'd realized what happened._

 _Because, this morning, Sakura hadn't just seen her former sensei naked beside her._

 _She'd seen the handsome man to whom she'd lost her virginity to._

 _Shaking these thoughts away, Sakura opened the door, her eyes deliberately focusing on the floor to avoid his gaze. It felt like minutes passed between them before she had the courage to look him in the eye. Kakashi was already dressed in his jounin attire, only the hitai ate missing from his forehead, which left both his eyes visible and currently locked on her own. It took everything in her to not gulp audibly._

 _"_ _Kakashi… I…" she started, but he cut her off._

 _"_ _It wasn't your fault, Sakura. You don't have to apologize." He started. Turning around, he began picking up her clothes which lay scattered on the floor as he continued. "I never should've..." Trailing off, his eyes hardened as he picked up her brassier. "I'm sorry."_

 _There it was, that intense turmoil of emotions she'd seen in his eyes earlier that morning. It unnerved her to see him that way, a man who was usually so calm and collected. In between her own inner battle, Sakura felt her heart go out to him. This isn't what she wanted, for him to put all the blame on himself. It was a strange feeling for neither of them was at fault, yet both of them were at the same time. They'd both been drinking, they'd both gotten exceedingly aroused, they'd both consented._

 _"_ _You know that's not true, Kakashi." Sakura said and took a step closer to him. "I was also drunk, I'm also at fau-"_

 _"_ _You were a virgin, weren't you?"_

 _That successfully stopped her in her tracks. She knew this conversation would take a turn in that direction eventually, but it still hurt when he said it that way, as if it physically wounded him to say the words aloud. And it hurt even more when he turned to her, his eyes boring into hers with an unreadable expression. Was he angry? Was he disappointed? She couldn't tell._

 _Instead of answering his rhetorical question, Sakura hung her head and kept very still. After what felt like an eternity, she nodded quietly._

 _"_ _Do you have a contraception seal?"_

 _This made her head snap up. The reality of their situation was much cruder than she had first thought, and his words were piercing her, shattering what little dignity she had left, making her slowly crumble. This wasn't a conversation she was ready to have at all, even more so because it was Kakashi who she was conversing with. She had a contraception seal, for Tsunade had forced her to wear one from a very young age, but seeing as she wasn't sexually active she had neglected to check on it regularly, a complete negligence on her part. It could've been rendered completely useless now, for all she knew. How she wished he was just asking this out of standard procedure after a drunken one-night stand, but she knew better. She'd seen it, after all, the proof that the last thing they had thought about last night was using a condom._

 _Slowly, wearily, she breathed out. "I d-don't know if it still works."_

 _The frown in his features deepened and his jaw tightened. Turning away from her, he went to pick up the last article of clothing, which happened to be her underwear, to her utter mortification. He began to neatly and calmly fold the fabrics, but she could easily see the storm just under the surface. Never had she seen Kakashi this tense, and she was afraid he would snap and lash out. Lash out at her for being so negligent with herself, for drinking herself stupid, for not having her contraception seal up to date. Sakura knew he would never say something to hurt her deliberately, but neither had she thought he would ever want to sleep with her. Or had it been the alcohol? If she hadn't been there in the pub, would it have been anybody else? Would it have been Ino, or Ten Ten? And if he hadn't been there, would she had spent the night with a stranger? She felt sick to her stomach at the thought._

 _And just as that, she could feel it. That nasty prickle of guilt she used to feel when she was younger and Naruto and Sasuke did something to remind her how far behind she was, how unfitting for Team Seven she had been. It made her stomach churn and her eyes water._

 _"_ _Go to the hospital. Have it checked today as soon as possible."_

 _His voice was neither angry nor condescending, but very stern. Sakura felt twelve-years-old again with him reprimanding her for having all her attention on Sasuke during their first bell test with him before the members of Team Seven officially became genin. Last night they might've been lovers in-between rumpled sheets, but right now they were taking on the most basic state of their personas: he was a full-fledged adult, and she a naïve teenager._

 _"_ _Kakashi, I… I'm sorr-" she began and took several steps towards him, until her hand reached out to grasp his sleeve. To her surprise, he quickly pulled away from her hold, as if her touch had burned him. This was enough to shut her up._

 _Kakashi gave a strained sigh, his eyes closing for a second, as if he was trying to contain himself. "Sakura, I already said you don't have to apologize." He placed the folded clothes in her trembling hands. "Go have the seal checked." With that, he exited the room without another word, leaving Sakura alone with her thoughts._

 _The kunoichi was doing everything on her power not to cry, but it wasn't enough. Kakashi had never truly said anything hurtful to her. He'd been intent to stay calm and collected during the short confrontation, but Sakura knew better. They weren't exactly best friends, but their trust as comrades and everything that had happened before and during the war had binded them together in a way that rivaled her life-long friendship with Ino. She trusted this man with her life, and he trusted her with his, or so she wanted to think. The past years had crafted strong bonds between certain shinobi from the Hidden Leaf Village, and theirs was one of them._

 _Now, however, she wasn't very sure._

 _'_ _He's pushing me away.' she thought with tears sliding down her cheeks._

 _For some reason, another man's face materialized in her mind, a face with raven locks and mismatched onyx and violet orbs. It took her a moment to understand what she was feeling, and it made her arms cling tighter to the clothes she kept held against her chest._

 _He was pushing her away._

 _He loathed what they'd done, and he was pushing her away._

 _Just like Sasuke had always pushed her away._

 _Kakashi might've been drunk last night, and his most basic instincts might've reveled on sleeping with her, but his actions towards her now unveiled a particularly important detail about what had happened._

 _It could've been anybody… except herself._

 _A sense of desperation settled in her heart as she burst through the bedroom door and into the hallway, her eyes wildly searching for him, her chakra reaching out to his. She had to talk to him, she had to fix this. The carefully forged bond between them would not come crumbling down if could have a say in it._

 _For a moment she panicked, as she couldn't feel his chakra signature in the apartment. Was he so angry that he'd leave here like this? A second later she felt it fleetingly moving down the stairs of the building towards the first floor. Sakura bolted after him as fast as she could and was able to catch up to the man just as he was about to exit the entrance door leading to the streets of the village._

 _"_ _Kakashi, wait!"_

 _He stopped walking but didn't turn towards her. Sakura stood a good five feet away from him trying to catch her breath at the same time she raked her brain for the right words, but they eluded her. She knew very well what she wanted to tell him: to not go, to not leave her like this, to stay so they could talk this shithole of a situation out. The moment he turned around to face her, although, whatever words had been forming in her throat made no more effort to come out of her mouth. Even with most of his face covered by the infamous mask and his hitai ate, the intensity with which he regarded her with that lone, dark eye made her breath hitch._

 _"_ _Hmm?" the man hummed softly, but said nothing beyond that._

 _At her lack of response, Kakashi approached her until he was standing right in front of the anxious kunoichi. It took a great deal of effort not to cower away from him._

 _"_ _We need to talk." Sakura muttered with much more courage than she felt._

 _Kakashi's expression didn't falter as he spoke. "There's somewhere I need to be right now, Sakura. We'll talk about this later. You should go to the hosp-"_

 _"_ _Stop saying that!" she bit out, her voice raising an octave as her flaring temper started to graze the surface. He wasn't listening to her at all, and it was truly hurting and angering her. The last thing she wanted right now was for this man to lecture her on anything. "I heard you the first time, I'm not a child, Kakashi."_

 _"_ _You're acting like one." the copy ninja retorted, and it made her blood boil even more. He'd never acted this way with her, and she felt at a loss with him. His words stung the most vulnerable parts of her, and Sakura found herself trying to fight for control over her emotions, for the last thing she wanted was to blurt something out that she would regret later._

 _"_ _You're being unreasonable, sensei." she said, her eyes unwillingly brimming with tears._

 _The moment she said this, she noticed it. The change. His visible eye turned fiercer, his jaw tightened, even his stance seemed tenser, like a coil about to spring. His voice was harsh and strained when he spoke next._

 _"_ _You should go."_

 _"_ _I'm not going anywhere until we talk this out, sens-"_

 _"_ _There's nothing to talk about, Sakura." Kakashi spat out with a tone that made her take a step backwards. "Go to the hospital." He turned to leave without as much as a glance in her direction. Sakura felt her self-control waver and, in a desperate and pathetic attempt to have the last word, she spoke her thoughts with an intended malice she never knew she was capable of producing towards someone like him._

 _"_ _I'm only a child when it's convenient, am I not? Because I'm sure last night you didn't see me as one when you fucked me."_

 _His body stilled as he opened the door, and Sakura quickly regretted her words, to an extent. She wanted to take them back as soon as they left her mouth, but it was too late. Kakashi glanced at her from over his shoulder with an expression she couldn't quite figure out._

 _"_ _You wanted it. Don't forget that." he said._

 _"_ _I never wanted it to be with you." she bit back, the tears now freely running down her cheeks. The kunoichi wanted nothing more than to run and hide in a ditch somewhere and never come out again, but his gaze had her rooted to the spot._

 _For the slightest second she saw a flicker of something akin to guilt in his eye, but it was gone as soon as it came._

 _"_ _We're on the same page, then." were his last words before he was out the door and disappeared into the crowded streets, leaving Sakura to deal with the endless downpour of tears alone._

.

The weeks that followed Sakura had spent either locked at home brooding, or locked in the hospital working herself senseless. She'd gone out of her way to avoid any sort of contact with Kakashi or anyone related to him. The contraception seal hadn't been working at all, but thankfully she hadn't been ovulating at the time of the encounter and so there hadn't been much risk, or so she'd been told when she went to get herself checked at the hospital after her unpleasant confrontation with the copy ninja. At least that was a weight off her young shoulders, and she silently vowed to never make such a stupid mistake again.

It wasn't until a few months later that she decided she'd moped enough about the incident and had to start coming to terms with it. She'd turned nineteen and wanted to walk into this new year of life having found closure with her past, specifically with Kakashi and Sasuke. Getting over the whole Sasuke issue had been easier than she had first thought. It was most likely because the man wasn't even around anymore, and so the healing process had benefitted from his absence. While she wanted to account the bigger part of it to that fact, Sakura also knew there was a bigger problem obscuring her failed childhood dream of being Sakura Uchiha.

One day, after coming home from a rather exhausting shift, Sakura had found the borrowed clothes he'd given her while she was getting dressed for bed. She'd spent a good thirty minutes staring at the offending objects before her temper got the best of her. She threw some street clothes on, placed the shirt and pants in a bag, and marched to his apartment… only to find he wasn't home. Maybe he was out on a mission? After the tenth try to return the clothes, which happened to be about two months after the first attempt, Sakura began to realize the man must've been purposefully avoiding her. That, or he was being conveniently sent out on missions whenever she decided to come around. However, when she decided to start asking around for his whereabouts, something funny happened.

No one knew where Kakashi was.

The more she inquired, the more she imagined the man simply vanishing into thin air. She didn't exactly put it below him to deliberately avoid being seen. He was an elite ninja after all, and if the Sharingan user ever wanted to hide from the world for the rest of his days, no one would find him. What she didn't understand was _why_. Kakashi was never known to be the most social butterfly of the bunch, for he much rather preferred to slip away from crowds to read his beloved lewd books or take a nap in a tree branch or stuff like that, but he wasn't one to not let himself be seen once in a while, either. Not even Genma and Gai had seen a hair of him, and it had worried her to no end. But as the days passed and he still didn't turn up, her worry twisted into something else, something foreign to her nature, and rather unreasonable if she said so herself. All of this a product of the frustration and resentment she still felt towards her former sensei for the downhill road their last conversation had taken. She knew their relationship as comrades, as friends, as _anything_ had pretty much shattered, and it made her loath him and herself with equal fervor. And so, one day, she simply stopped herself from thinking about him whatsoever. If he wanted to spend the rest of his life avoiding the consequences of his mistakes, then so be it.

Months had turned into a year, and then a year and six months and she'd become ANBU.

And then, one day as normal as any other, the answer to her inquiry about the sneaky man's whereabouts had come in the most anti-climactic of ways. She'd been drinking with Ino and the girls one chilly Autum night and it had been her turn to pay for the round. The medic had walked over to the bar to ask for another bottle of sake when she'd accidentally overheard a conversation beside her. The pair of shinobi was unrecognizable to her, and she hadn't exactly paid much attention to what they had been discussing, until a certain name was pronounced.

.

 _Sakura was waiting for the bartender who was currently searching for the sake bottle she had asked for when her ears began picking up pieces of the conversation happening beside her._

 _"_ _I swear, he was angry as fuck yesterday, and I don't even know why. He really gave me a beating." muttered a man with fiery red hair, a shade lighter than Gaara's. He was slumped on the bar stool and sipped nonchalantly from a whiskey glass with an annoyed, yet tired, expression on his face. His words were received with a snicker from the blonde woman sitting beside him, making his frown deepen. "What's so funny, Miyu?"_

 _The woman named Miyu took a swing from her beer. "You're the one who wanted to spar with him right after a failed interrogation mission, and you still wonder why you got your ass handed to you." Sakura dimly noticed the woman had a thick foreign accent, but couldn't quite place it._

 _"_ _That's no excuse. You don't see me trying to murder my sparring partners when I fail a mission." the man responded with slight annoyance._

 _Miyu snorted and rolled her eyes. "I told you to spar with Kotaro, but no, you wanted the mighty copy ninja."_

 _Sakura's eyes widened, and her head turned to the couple at breakneck speed when the nickname slipped from the woman's lips. The pinkette didn't even notice when the bottle of sake was placed before her, the bartender waiting for her to hand over the money for it with a slightly exasperated expression on his face. He had drunken customers waiting all around him, after all._

 _He cleared his throat. "Miss?"_

 _The kunoichi regarded him looking a little lost, as if her brain had forgotten what she had gone to do at the bar. The man rolled his eyes and took the bills out of her hands and stuffed them in his back pocket before walking over to the next customer. Under different circumstances, she would've given the man a piece of her infamous temper for such a rude gesture, but her mind had stopped processing all rational thought, it seemed._

 _"_ _He's a Captain, isn't he? And he can't even cope with a failed mission? What a jok-"_

 _In a flash, the man had been pushed forward roughly, the side of his face pressed flush against the wooden surface of the bar, the whiskey glass broken on the floor. Sakura's eyes widened at the scene as she watched the woman tower over his form, one hand pressing his face down while the other had twisted his arm behind his back in a painful hold. The blonde's blue eyes had narrowed and held a deadly edge to them Sakura had seen more than enough times on various people during the past months. The pinkette's eyes traveled down the woman's naked left arm and quickly found what she had been looking for: a spiraled, red tattoo on her forearm._

 _"_ _I've always wanted to know what it feels like to deliberately break an arm slowly and painfully." The arm the woman held was pulled further back, making the man hiss, and Sakura noted all that was needed was a bit more force to dislocate it. "I wonder…" She pulled back a bit more, and this time the man screamed in pain, the sound drowned into the loud music of the establishment._

 _"_ _Stop it, you bitch!" he screeched, his earlier mockery towards Kakashi all but forgotten._

 _"_ _I think the whiskey made you forget your place, so let me freshen your memories." Miyu commented, unaffected by the man's struggling to free from her grasp. "The next time you, a mere recruit, dare to speak ill of Captain Hatake, this arm of yours, -" she pulled more, tears now spilling from the man's eyes and sweat sliding down his neck. "-that you're so fond of because of your weaponry specialties, is going to be ripped off. Either that, or maybe I could just slip a few drops of yew into your morning tea. How does that sound?"_

 _The man didn't answer. Bystanders were starting to give the couple worried looks, but no one dared to interfere. They all knew messing with an enraged ANBU operative was just like knocking on death's door, and so they kept their distance. Only the rude bartender seemed brave enough to say something._

 _"_ _If you spill blood, you'll clean it, Miyu." he chastised the woman with his arms crossed over his chest._

 _Pursing her lips, a mischievous glint in her eye, Miyu abruptly let go of the man. The red head fell to the ground, miserably holding his abused limb against his chest. "Motherfucker." he whispered._

 _Miyu straightened her form and gave the bartender a dashing smile. "The things you think of me, Dan. Why, I would never…" Taking money from her pocket, she placed it in front of the bartender to pay for her beer. Turning around, the blonde made sure to kick at the man's side as she began sauntering away from the bar. Her eyes met with Sakura's for a millisecond before her back was out the door and into the chilly night._

.

With little effort, Sakura had been able to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Kakashi hadn't been avoiding the world, not exactly.

He wasn't laying on a ditch somewhere, bleeding to death, either.

He'd been called back into the ANBU Black Ops ranks and, as she now knew, he'd been deployed to the Northern Training Facility.

There had been a certain feeling of relief at this new information, if only because her two-year long question had finally been answered. This didn't mean, however, that she wanted to see him, at least not while the wound still felt a tad fresh at times. Maybe, she'd be able to face the man without a murderous intent towards him in five more years or so. For the good part of the last months, Sakura had been dreading mission briefings for fear of being paired with the man. Just when she had thought luck was finally on her side, Tsunade comes and deploys her to the same place she sent him. There was nothing Sakura wanted more than to neglect the Godaime's arrangement, have her find another medic to take her place. But orders where orders, and she'd be dead before she ever as much as breath a word about her thoughts on the ordeal to Tsunade.

She'd just have to endure.

Finally sitting up, Sakura glanced at her watch and found she still had about twenty minutes before Ino came bursting through her front door to see if she was ready. More than once the pinkette had sought out help from Team Seven's sole artistic ninja and the Yamanaka's current boyfriend, Sai, on this matter. Maybe, he could convince the blonde from invading his teammates privacy whenever she felt like it. The dark-haired man had brushed her off with a fake smile and the excuse of not wanting to meddle on friendship affairs that didn't involve him. Sakura had simply thought the man cowered under Ino's temper tantrums and was going out of his way to avoid them, even if it meant throwing Sakura under the bus.

With a sigh, Sakura jumped down from the roof and landed gracefully into her balcony four floors down. The moment she glanced inside at the dark interior of her home, she felt the stress of the day finally weighting down on her. The exhausting mission, her stroll through the cemetery, the meeting with Tsunade and her looming deployment, Kakashi… Her fingers itched with pins and needles, and she felt something all too familiar gathering in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't face her friends in this state, hence she broke down in tears and that would be a problem, because then they would pry to find out what was wrong, and she wasn't about to tell them the truth. She needed to do something to get her mind back on track and away from her problems.

She heard the sliding door of the balcony adjacent to hers open and saw a man walk out. He was around her age, with slightly tanned skin, auburn hair and striking green eyes a shade darker than hers. The man wasn't wearing shirt, just some loose-fitting pajama pants that hung dangerously low on his hips. He held a mug of hot chocolate and was sipping slowly from it when his eyes found her. Lowering the mug from his lips, the man gave her a dashing smile.

"How's my favorite neighbor doing tonight?" he asked, and Sakura could already feel her skin heating up at the mere sound of his voice.

"Not so good, Hideki." she responded and proceeded to lay back on the railing with her elbows, all too aware that her chest was sticking out rather provocatively with her back arched the way it was.

The man sipped from the mug again, and Sakura smiled inwardly as she saw his eyes wander below her neck for a second. "Hmm… Tough day, huh?"

"And then some." Sakura replied. She made her way across the balcony and pushed herself over to his with a delicacy only a kunoichi like herself could muster. Hideki didn't even flinch as she took the mug off his hands and took a sip. "I'm feeling a little stressed is all."

The man was quiet for a while, settling for merely observing her intently. His voice was sinful velvet when he spoke. "How much time do you have?"

"Twenty minutes." Sakura answered without hesitation, the excitement of the ordeal already curling in her stomach and veiling her problems for the time being.

Hideki seemed to contemplate on this before he graced her with a smirk. "I can work with that." he muttered as he closed the distance between them, his hands coming to rest on the railing behind her, successfully trapping the young woman between it and his body. His soft lips found their way to the sensitive spot just below her earlobe and gave her a playful nip. "Where do you want it?"

Sakura didn't answer. Instead, her hands started fumbling with undoing the string of his pants. She heard Hideki chuckle in her ear, his hands holding hers and stopping her movements.

"I never took you for the exhibitionist type, Sakura." he murmured while he searched her face, his eyes settling on her plump lips.

Sakura rolled her eyes and swatted his hands away to continue what she'd been doing. "Since when do you care about modesty in this, Hideki?" Once the knot was loose, Sakura worked on her shorts, pulling them down her legs along with her underwear in a swift motion. The only reason why she had so little worries about this was because she was wearing her usual red dress with the black obi. Even with the shorts gone, the dress still left her with some decency, which she was about to lose in the next minute or so, but still.

As soon as her shorts were gone, Hideki pressed her body against the railing with his stronger one, a devious hand slipping between them and under her dress. "You're right, I don't."

This was yet another of the unmentionable things she would never breathe to anyone, not even her closest friends. She knew Ino had a suspicion, but the woman had never confronted her about it. They weren't romantically involved in any way, but there was a level of understanding between them Sakura had yet to find with another man. The last two years had been hard on her. Sasuke, Kakashi, the death of her parents, her admission to ANBU. Sakura would've laughed if anyone had ever told her two years ago she'd be doing something like this. But many things had changed about her, specifically the way she viewed sex. She wasn't one for sleeping around with strangers at all, the only one-night stand she'd ever had being the one she had shared with her ex-sensei. Even after that, sex had been completely foreign territory for her, until she met Hideki.

Hideki Yoshi had moved in about eight months ago. He was a jounin that specialized in torture and interrogation, and who Sakura had seen around the hospital a few times when he came to get medical treatment after missions or for the mandatory check-ups. Conversation had come easy between them. Hideki was an easy-going and charismatic guy with a devious personality and a body to die for. She'd easily caught the guy wasn't into commitment at all, but he was fun to spend time with. One thing led to another, and soon Sakura had found herself going from friendly chats in their respective balconies, to friendly chats in his living room, to tangling herself in-between his sheets without any sort of conversation at all. At first, she'd been afraid on venturing into this new world of which she knew nothing about, but Hideki was quick to reassure her. It wasn't a normal occurrence either, just something that happened whenever one of them was feeling especially overworked. He'd never once made her feel uncomfortable, even when he coaxed her into trying new things, and for that she was grateful. She'd never been this kind of girl, but she'd come to accept this was what was most convenient right now: someone who could make her forget about her problems without having strings attached to her in any way.

She lost herself in the sensations he brought upon her body, and when he hoisted her leg up to wrap around his waist as he penetrated her, Sakura had long forgotten about Kakashi and her deployment. Her only worry now was keeping her voice down so they wouldn't attract a voyeur.

Such wonderful times when life turned so simple.

.

.

.

"You're leaving?!"

"Say what?!"

Sakura made a face and was quick to hush the pair of loud blondes who had just screeched their shock at her sudden announcement, managing to attract the attention of several people who sat on tables close to theirs in the process. Sakura had never truly enjoyed being thrusted into the spotlight for matters like this one, and having the undivided attention of her friends upon her so unexpectedly made her squirm a bit in her chair. At least Shikamaru and Hinata had the decorum to look surprised without alerting the whole establishment about the Hokage's newest request upon the pink-haired kunoichi.

As it had happened a few times in the past, most of the Rookie Nine had been sent on missions the week of their monthly hangout. The only ones free to come had been Naruto, Hinata, Ino, Shikamaru, and Sakura. The small group had found themselves a table in the back of the restaurant and had been chatting idly while having some drinks and enjoying their food. It had been when the topic of recent missions was dragged into the conversation that Sakura had decided to tell them about her deployment.

"Okay, wait. How long are you gonna be gone, again?" Ino asked after her initial surprise on the news subsided enough for her voice to lower.

"I don't know yet. Could be a few months, depending on how long the previous medic is out." Sakura stated as she took an absentminded bite to her steamed dumpling. She'd been hoping the whole endeavor didn't take more than a few days, but somehow, she knew that was asking for too much.

"You said it was the Northern one, right?" Shikamaru asked, to which the pinkette nodded. "I've heard some interesting things about that Facility." Sakura knew that Shikamaru was being trained as an advisor for the next Hokage since a few months ago, so he got to spend a lot of time around the Hokage Tower and its endless gossip.

"Like what?" Naruto asked, his attention finally averted from his teammate, who also had her eyes on Shikamaru, for his words had picked at her interest. The things that came and went from mouth to mouth on the water cooler at the Tower at any given day had the tendency of being astonishingly accurate, no matter the source of information.

"For once, they seem to snatch the most dangerous missions of the rooster." Considering the proximity villages like Otogakure had to the northern border of Fire Country, Sakura was positive this information was legitimate. This meant she'd be busy, for dangerous missions usually meant countless broken bones and flesh wounds to heal. "They're also the most developed in torture and interrogation training."

Sakura pursed her lips at this. She wasn't particularly fond of interrogation. As a medic, it felt unnatural to intentionally hurt someone, only to heal them and hurt them again, over and over. She knew it was necessary under certain circumstances, but she'd be happy if she could avoid those missions and their byproducts altogether.

"Also, I've heard there aren't many women around." Shikamaru finished as he raised the sake cup to his lips, signaling he has done issuing information.

"And why is that?" Hinata inquired from her place beside Naruto. Shikamaru merely shrugged.

"Beats me." he answered before he excused himself and headed for the restrooms.

Sakura noticed Naruto was looking at her with a funny expression on his face. "What?" she asked.

"Are you sure you'll be okay in there?"

She knew where he was coming from. He was genuinely worried about her, for the times he'd found her with a foot tapping at death's door had been too many to count in the short six months she'd been a Black Ops operative. Sakura was certain his biggest worry was the fact that he would not be around to take care of her if anything particularly bad were to happen. She wanted to reassure him there was nothing he had to be worried about.

"I promise I'll be careful." the pinkette told him with a smile, which made the jinchuuriki smile in return. "I'm gonna miss your stew, though."

Naruto gave her a sheepish grin and scratched the back of his head. "That's all thanks to Hinata." The Hyuuga blushed as Naruto engulfed her in a fierce hug, and Sakura couldn't help but feel her heart flutter. This couple had to be the cutest thing she'd ever seen, and she couldn't be happier for them. As she watched Naruto place a chaste kiss on the girl's lips, Sakura couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous. Even as she'd silently sworn herself off commitment for the time being, the kunoichi still yearned for a love like this: unadulterated, strong, genuine.

 _'_ _Maybe, one day…'_

Even without turning in her direction, Sakura knew Ino was looking at her. As the pinkette glanced towards her friend, she quickly saw the devious smile plastered on her face, the one she wore whenever she was about to suggest something entirely inappropriate. Sakura mentally prepared to withstand the onslaught without losing her temper.

"Well, at least you'll get to have lots of wild sex, forehead." Ino commented cheekily. "Not many women means no competition, and a buffet of strong, sexy ANBU at your disposal. Who knows, you might even snatch yourself a Captain."

To finish the horrendous shit day she'd been having, her brain decided to sneakily remind her at that moment that Kakashi Hatake used to be an ANBU Captain.

Sakura had never called for a waiter so fast in her life.

She needed another drink, or ten.

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 **A/N: I believe this will finally end the introductory chapters, and the story will definitely pick up with the next one. I'd love to hear your feedback about this one. I'm not entirely convinced with it, to be honest, but it flows. Haha! Thank you for all your support always! See you on the next one! :)**


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